CategoriesLifestyle
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Hide yo wife

As the great Antoine Dodson once warned us… ‘Hide yo wife, hide yo kids’ and in our case, hide your Zara haul, baby names, and travel plans too. Because nazar is real (or at least, people act like it is)

Ok but seriously though, Let’s talk about nazar because I think we are SO way off.

To those who are unfamiliar with nazar (or the evil eye) it is basically just … the act of giving you bad luck by witnessing you and your luck through a jealous bitter lens.

The concept of nazar is present in many cultures in South Asia , Africa, Middle East , the Mediterranean, Turkey and I’m pretty sure multiple indigenous tribes too.

Basically the solution to nazar is. “hide your blessings or haters gonna hate… no for reals … your luck is fucked if you overshare”

As a result people often become weirdly secretive and paranoid … withholding things like … where they traveled on holiday or .. the grades their kids got.

Everyone is downplaying shit constantly .

It’s so … odd.

Because no one wants to admit they have a visibly happy life.

Nazar is so misunderstood, and it’s paralyzing us as a society.

We can’t have any pride, any joy, any confidence because we’re terrified of what people might think.

People are out here covering their babies photo with emoji hearts on Instagram, or decorating their kids’ eyes with kajal like they’re performing some ancient anti-hex ritual like kind of a vaccination against jealousy.

Why?

Because they’re convinced that a single glance from a jealous auntie will curse their kid forever.

Get a grip.

That is not how it works.

(If it even exists at all.)

And I know what you’re saying: “But it’s in religion.”

Ok … Yes. I’m aware … BUT even then — hear me out.

What if we have it all wrong?

What if nazar was never meant to be some magical, supernatural hex?

What if it was simply a piece of advice for your own benefit?

It is common sense that hanging out with draining people does drain you.

Envious, bitter people can suck the light out of a room.

They can weigh on your spirit. So avoid them. That’s it. That’s my interpretation.

Maybe nazar was meant as a general heads up about human energy — not a call to paranoia. But we’ve twisted it. Nazar has become “everyone is a default hater until proven innocent.”

This was never supposed to be a reason to be shady, live in fear and shrink and downplay joy.

I’m gonna Socrates this shit for you: what YOU think about people’s intentions says more about YOU than about them.

Boom.

How’d ya like them apples?

Because a bitter person only sees bitterness. A jealous person only sees jealousy. An authentic person will always presume authenticity.

Just to be clear , if you’re a naturally private person who simply prefers to keep things lowkey, that’s completely valid.

You don’t owe anyone your life story.

But if you’re shrinking yourself purely out of fear?

Of imaginary hexes and hypothetical haters? That’s not protection.

That’s paranoia.

I mean I’m not saying to

overshare to a cringe kardashian level.

Not only is that lame … it’s unsafe too. But … let’s not pretend everyone who has been through shit wishes harm .

Come on, now.

Ain’t nobody got time to sit and stew in envy.

Be for real.

It’s like dancing in a club you think everyone’s watching your moves, but actually?

Everyone’s too busy worrying about how they look themselves.

So… I hate to break it to you, but no one’s casting spells over Shazia’s good grades.

You may humblebrag in peace.

At ease, soldier.

Let’s take ME for instance. I’m gonna use myself as a case study, ok?

obviously I do not have my dad around anymore.

That sucks.

By all accounts, I’m the quintessentialjealous bitch candidate, aren’t I????

By this logic, my jealous rays are gonna come out of my eyes like She-Ra or some shit and curse YOUR relationship, right???

No… that’s stupid. Do you see how ridiculous that theory is?

Here’s this thing … I carry double grief. I grieve my dad and I grieve the version of him I never got.

The one before Parkinson’s stole him.

Sometimes I roam around random outdated malls like Mercato or Deira City Center not because they’re fun or convenient (they’re far AF) but because deep down I’m trying to relive how life felt before Parkinson’s touched us. We used to hang out there a lot for birthdays and iftars… before grief became part of the air I breathe.

I miss happily living in Dubai before.

When I was 21 to 26.

From 2005–2011 if we’re being specific.

Those were our carefree years.

The only “problem” I had was rushing home from clubbing to honor the STUPIDEST most unrealistic desi girl curfew ever.

(Midnight. At 21. WTF, Papa? Am I Cinderella?!!!)

Apple Bottom Jeans would come on at the stroke of midnight, and id be gyrating carefree in my happy 2000s bubble and suddenly it’d hit me like lightning

OMG it’s 11:45, I’m still in Jumeirah, I’m 40 minutes away… Papa is gonna MURDER me.

(The ghost of Apple Bottom Jeans still possesses me whenever I hear it. Its instant music time travel . God, I miss clubbing before twerking became a thing.)

Anyway .. then I’d YANK my best friend Colin by the collar and chaotically hiss, “DEEMZ, take me HOME! I’m LATE AF!!!”

And he’d be like, “Ok, Japs, relax…” (so non-judgmental) and calmly keeping me grounded while I’m losing my mind hyperventilating with stress and scurrying off in a panic in those ridiculous platform heels everyone wore in the early aughts.

Those weren’t problems.

They were charming. misadventures.

I’d give anything for charming misadventures to be my biggest problems again.

(And yes — I know. I realise how ungratefuland bratty that sounds because there’s cancer, war, so much worse out there… and Mashallah I have a good life but I’m a mortal and flawed.

Forgive me.)

I mourn the dad who would’ve made corny, eye rollingly lame jokes to my kid.

Who would’ve had the energy to play with zayan … and have had the physical strength ability to lift my kid’s chunky ass right up with ease ..

He would have been that main-character Nana, the masti instigator, the one who stirred up fun — not just the loving but passive, spectator Nana.

That Parkinson-less alternate reality has always run through my my head concurrently like the movie Sliding Doors.

Every so often I see some old guy on the bus — ancient, spry, still taking public transport at like, 100 (I mean Mashallah, but also… WTF) and I’m hit with this wave of bitterness like, Damn… why are YOU still here?!

You look like a goddamn wizard.

All nimble and shit?

Why are YOU still here?

It’s not fair .

And yes — I admit it… I picture myself shoving the old dude right off a moving bus.

Do I actually want to DO it?

No.

That’s my grief talking.

I know that. Duh.

Those intrusive sadistic thoughts aren’t my REAL self.

Why?

Because believe it or not, random homicideof the elderly isn’t going to give me solace or restore cosmic karma.

Similarly, when I see my cousins dancing with their (mashallah) healthy dad, or sharing some gossip over dinner just general tender moments?

Yes… my heart feels like it’s been squeezed like one of those novelty googly-eye keychain faces.

(See below for a visceral guide)

i cannot dismiss that pain that feels like it’s leaking out of me. It’s there.

But I say this with conviction-

I’m truly happy for everyone.

This may sound really cringe and kumbayabut I genuinely DO wish them joy despite my pain.

So there you go … I just debunked the concept of nazar for you.

Either I’m some kind of spiritually elevated anomaly or maybe just maybe… everyone doesn’t absolutely suck.

Oooh. Plot twist.

CategoriesCorona
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Art In The Time of Corona

Remember when we were all excited about expo 2020 and all the amazing opportunities it would offer us?!! Yeah, it turned out that this year sucks.

I’m quite a social person. I thrive on meeting up with friends and hanging out, talking face to face, so for me being cooped up is driving me nuts! The thing that really took a nosedive is events which really hurt all my live illustration projects.

I’ve been told that it’s never a good idea to coast on a trademark skill you are good at, so my advice for artists going through this rough patch is to do your best to adapt with the times. Art in the time of Corona has proved challenging and hasn’t been as interactive or as glam as it was. This is a perfect time to sign up to do some online art courses and learn a few new techniques and skills. Skillshare is amazing for that and so is Domestika. You get to pick the brains of the most incredible artists. So far, I’m loving the procreate classes. I don’t always feel motivated to do them but when I do learn a new style, its a fab feeling.

So what HAVE I been working on these days? Mainly custom illustrations. I’ve come up with this cute chubby looking style which works out pretty well and have been enjoying 5hese projects. I’m definitely gonna do this style more at family/kid related live events.

Here’s a few I did for father’s day.

This gorgeous fam lives in Thailand so I gave it a tropical look, since they are all about laid back, beach life.

These two were some really fun baby announcement illustrations for social media.

I also did a couple of wedding and engagement invites. They gave me a sneak peak of their outfits and the venue and I used that as inspo. Check it out.

But you know what, let’s be real. Instagram misleads us to believe that absolutely everyone and their dog is being productive and some days you aren’t going to feel motivated or inspired.

Given the situation, that’s totally ok. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself days space out, cry, mope and throw tantrums. This is a highly uncertain time and we are all taking it one day at a time.

CategoriesWinter Weddings
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Wonderful Winter Weddings

Ah, Its finally December! The most wonderful time of the year. I love this month because I have my birthday/UAE day AND my anniversary to look forward to. Also, it’s officially wedding season and despite covid, it kicked off with a bang! Sequin masks and all.

This month was the first time I drew live at Emirati weddings! So far, I am LOVING it! Each guest was more glam and extravagant than the next one! It was really fun to compare how two different cultures interpret wedding glam – Pakistanis love bling too but we are more into embroidery and stick to traditional silhouettes. Emirati women are so much more experimental and rocked bolder fashion choices. I’m talkin neon, feathers, sequins, rhinestones, prints, sculptural draping and more! All weddings are segregated so the women can literally let their hair down and wear whatever they like which is nice to see. By the way, despite the humidity, everyone’s blow dry and foundation always remains flawless! What is this sorcery??

This one had an amazing, Sicilian theme with chic, yellow, dolce like lemons. I managed to graze a bit for this one and food was just incredible.

The outfits inspire me so much but omg – weddings are INTENSE!!!! Each wedding, I was drawing non stop for four hours. Between these events and lugging my robust kid around the house, my wrists are in serious need of a hot stone massage! But jokes aside, I get to snack, draw the most stunning dresses AND get all dressed up!!! I love adding sparkly things to my cart knowing I finally have somewhere to wear them! I think I could quite happily ONLY do weddings from now on !

CategoriesMothers's day
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Mother’s Day at Chanel

Hi! How are you guys? It’s been a minute hasn’t it?

So, wayyyy back in March – I got the opportunity to work with my favorite luxury brand, Chanel!!! Now, my sister has always been a hardcore Dolce and Gabanna kinda girl … but not me. I’m a Chanel girl ALL the way. I LOVE everything about Chanel. The tweed, the metallics, the chains, the pearls – even carefree Coco and what she stood for at the time.

It was a special, three day activation that took place at Mall of Emirates, Dubai Mall and Abu Dhabi mall. I had to sketch mothers and kids live in the stores.

 

I’ve worked with luxury brands before, and some are lovely and others are …not so lovely ..kind of uppity…not naming names but there you have it. BUT everyone at Chanel was lovely, friendly and welcoming.

I’ve been sketching live since 2010 and it has been a longggggg journey but working with Chanel has been my pièce de résistance.

 

Enough chatter. Here’s some highlights of the activation.

 
CategoriesWeddings
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5 cool things about Emirati weddings

Since December, my work completely changed direction after working at ONE Emirati wedding. I started getting loads and loads of requests to illustrate live for OTHER Emirati weddings too and i’ve been almost exclusively doing that for the past eight months! It’s been awesome… and here I am ..fifty three weddings later and a whole new niche! The culture is really fascinating and mysterious to me and I’m sure it might be interesting to other cultures from the outside looking in … SO, without further “I do” (haha. i’m a dork … i know) here are 10 cool things I’ve noticed specifically about Emirati weddings.

the calm before the storm …

pic seen on honeymoon.ae organized by 4everevents

  1. Weddings are mostly segregated and extremely private

So at these weddings, most of the local women wear hijab and abayas so they’re extremely cautious about remaining segregated during the ceremony . This is so they can chill out, dance/celebrate and wear that super cute strapless number without worrying about being seen by men they are not related to at the party. As a result, photos and privacy are reallyyyyy important – I’ve been to weddings where I’ve had to give over my mobile phone to be covered with a special pouch that covers the camera. The phone is wrapped in a pouch with a security tag which will be removed on your way out. Super secretive! Intriguing isn’t it?

2. Inner-wear and Outerwear

There is a coat check as soon as you enter the venue where you can ditch the abaya and continue to enjoy the night out uninhibitedly with your glam squad , footloose and fancy free. Sometimes there are a few dudes from the close family that come in RIGHT at the very end but they certainly don’t stroll in super casually and unannounced – that’d be hella rude. The men have to give a proper heads up so there is ample time for the ladies to don their shaylas /abayas if they want to.

3. Perfume Pop Ups

Something that is unique about Emirati weddings is the importance of perfume. Fragrance is imperative to their culture and there are often beautiful pop up perfume counters at these weddings. The perfume tables resemble a dressing room vanity with gorgeous bottles of imported French and Oriental perfumes, flower arrangements oils and ouds. Before entering the venue, guests are encouraged to help themselves and test out the latest scents in the reception area. In addition to this, staff walk around with oud burners randomly dispersing the scents all over the room throughout the ceremony to ensure that the intensity of the fragrance lasts the entire evening.

Well…that makes scent-se (see what I did there? hyuk hyuk.)

4. They like to party with loud music

I mean ok, this point doesn’t sound particularly unique – but hear me out. When MY parents or anyone in my family over a certain age are at a restaurant and let’s say and the music is too loud – they often get very irritated and want the music turned down so they can hear people have a conversation. My parents would NOT be cool with it if I put music on extremely loud in the car – even if it was a song they liked.

The interesting part about Emirati weddings is no matter what their age is – EVERYONE is totes cool with super loud Arabic music. I’m talking clubbing-in-college-on-sat-night-ears-ringing kind of volume. I think it’s really awesome how even the grannies are just cutely bopping to the music too and NONE of them seem to mind the volume. A lot of people have to shout over the music to hear each other just like a night club but it’s really nice how chill everyone is about that. There’s no grumps who go “turn down that racket! i cant hear myself think” So yeah, they definitely all have a united sense of fun and celebration. No grouches allowed.

5. There is no concept of “outshining” the bride.

At European weddings, it’s an unwritten rule that guests are not supposed to wear white or anything TOO dressy or TOO bling because it’s the brides day. Yeah, that doesn’t happen here. Much like our south asian weddings, EVERYONE is encouraged to wear the best of the BEST – the BIGGEST and boldest silhouettes. The most glittering jewels. It’s like the oscars. I have seen some incredible dresses that are SOOOOO beautifully elaborate that they could easily be worn as a costume in a movie. Elie Saab, Ralph and Russo, Zuhair Murad, Valentino – you name it. They also love their crystal shoes – but Manolo is SO last year (!) The shoe designers of choice these days seem to be Amina Muaddi and Mach & Mach.

feathers and frills

amazing silhouettes

What’s also interesting about the bride – she doesn’t just simply walk down the aisle. It’s much more of a performance. The Emirati bridal walk is much more slow and confident- theres a dramatic spotlight on the bride and she takes a longgg detour around the room accompanied with theatrical game-of-thrones-like music before she finally takes her seat on the bridal stage like an absolute boss. It’s more like a beauty pageant walk rather than a quick stroll up the aisle. So you see, I can assure you – you WON’T outshine the bride. It’s quite impossible – trust me …the bride shines the most.